Educational Opportunities Abound

At Baptism, the church community pledges to “so order our lives after the example of Christ, that these children (persons), surrounded by steadfast love, may be established in the faith, and confirmed and strengthened in the way that leads to life eternal.”   One of the ways that churches help children who are baptized become “established in the faith” is through educational opportunities.  It is for this reason that we offer Sunday School opportunities to our young people.  However, there are many more educational opportunities within our church and community that we often overlook. 

Our community offers two traditional “teachable” moments: Sunday School and the Growing Hour.  Children who participate in Sunday School learn through cooking, games, storytelling, music, art, etc. that God is with them, God loves them, and many stories of the Bible.  Through our Growing Hour, children learn not only Bible stories but also how to work together as a team, sharing, taking turns, and using one’s talents to spread God’s love. 

Aside from our programming events, there are many other opportunities to teach our children and youth.  For example, children who participate in worship learn not only the purpose and how to worship but also what it feels like to be in a multi-generational community.  Young people who sit on committees learn how to work as a team, be a leader, and plan for the future.  Mission activities help youth and children learn what it means to serve others and think beyond their own needs and wants.  Every time we interact with young people, whether by praising or disciplining them, we are teaching them.  For example, when conflict arises within our community, the way that the community responds teaches our young people how to handle conflict.  And of course, there are many more moments found within the life of the family.

Children and youth who are apart of Generations Y and Z are more likely to “catch” the faith then be “taught” the faith.  In other words, these young people learn more through experience and modeling by adults rather than conversing about God.  Thus, if we are going to establish our children and youth in their faith, then we all must recognize the teachable moments and use them well.  When we do so, our young people will grow to know God and to carry our faith to the next generation.

The Long Wait

It's been a long time since I posted last.  Of course, it has been much longer than I anticipated.  But life takes unexpected turns that require us at times to lessen our load so that we might do other things.  And yet, I am again ready to post more often--or at least I think I am.   

As I prepare for my sermon on Sunday, I thought of an image that many families might relate to.  Every time I am trying to get out the door to work, school, or to the store I am always confronted with the need to make sure everyone is ready to go.  Some times it is easy to leave the house although that in of itself is a rarity.  Most of the time, I am saying "Come on!  Let's go!  Put your shoes on!"  And it is usually at this point, my daughter begins to tell me a story about her day or what she is thinking about at that moment.  All I want to do is get out the door.  I don't want to hear anything else that isn't about doing so.  

As parents, we think, at least I do, that we have progressed past this point.  We can find our shoes quickly, put them on, and get out the door.  We have no trouble leaving the house even in a group.  We know what needs to be done and so we do it.  But when it comes to our spiritual lives, are we not slowly looking for our shoes or telling stories?  By taking a long time, we might get to avoid even beginning to think about our spiritual lives.  If we go at a snail's pace before too long something will come up to take its place or someone will put our shoes on for us.  

Maybe we shouldn't be so annoyed by those slow movers in our lives.  Instead, we should recognize the moments when we too are trying to put something off.  Perhaps then, we might have some empathy for others and we too might begin to pick up the pace in other aspects of our lives.  

Listening to Our Children

Last week, I went to visit a friend of mine.  I greatly respect my friend not only because she listens well and is a good pastor but also because she is raising three teenage daughters.  I can’t imagine having three girls of my own never mine three in their teenage years at the same time!  And yet, she has done it well.  Her children are well mannered and well natured.  And through it all, my friend went to seminary and is STILL sane!

 

As my friend and I were out and about, we went into an “educational” toy store to look for something for her daughter.  As we were looking through the books, my friend saw the book titled “How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk.”  She said it was immensely helpful as she was raising her kids.  I wasn’t in the mood to pick up a book on parenting but I really respect my friend’s opinion so I bought it.

 

This afternoon, I started reading the book.  The first chapter is about listening to the feelings of our children.  Often times, we as parents (Yes, I am equally as guilty), tell our children that they shouldn’t feel this or that way.  For example, the book gives this example on page 2:

 

            Child: Mommy, it’s hot in here.

            Mom: It’s cold.  Keep your sweater on.

            Child: No, I’m hot.

            Mom: I said, “Keep your sweater on!”

            Child: No, I’m hot.

 

In this example, the mom hasn’t really heard the child.  The child is hot so to keep a sweater on just might be unbearable.  But the mother doesn’t know if that is the case because she hasn’t truly listened to the child.  Instead of denying the child’s feelings, the book recommends listening.  For example, the mother could have said, “Sounds like, you are warm with your sweater on?”  Listening to how a child feels doesn’t necessarily lead a parent to allow the child to take his/her sweater off when it is 30 degrees out.   But it does allow children to know that they are being heard.

 

Listening to our children is important both as parents and as community members.  Children are people who may feel different from you, and me.  It is important that we begin (if we haven’t been) to really listen so our children may grow up knowing what it means to listen to others.   If we truly listen to how our children feel, we might begin to see how changes to both the world and the church might meet the needs of our children more effectively.

Questions in my head...

I apologize for not posting for a whole month. I have been thinking about many things these past weeks. And here are some of the questions that have been rolling around my head. Perhaps you have an answer that might help me focus for the coming year.

What do parents need? Bible Studies? Parenting issues conversations?

How do we create programs for the entire family?

What would be most meaningful for you and your children that the church can offer?

How can Sunday School for our children be improved?

When would be the best time to create programs that adults can attend?

What new things might the church offer?

I don’t have the answers to these questions but I have a few ideas that I am thinking about for the fall. I would like to create a “movie” based faith study. In this study, we would use movies to help us discuss our faith and our lives. I am also thinking of creating an advent study for the entire family. We would create activities the whole family could do together and stimulate conversation that all could participate in.

Let me know if you have any ideas, suggestions, or answers to my questions. I’ll get back to regular posting soon.

Blessings to you all!

Hearing a Who

Recently, Patrick and I took our daughter, Autumn, to see “Horton Hears a Who” at the movie theater. The movie is based on a Dr. Seuss book of the same title. I enjoyed the movie, as did the rest of the family. But over the last few weeks, a line from the movie continues to pop into my head. “A person is a person no matter how small.” This line is more of a mantra than anything else and it has caused me to think about Children’s ministries in our churches.

Over the last four months, I’ve had several experiences where our children and youth have surprised me. At Senior High camp, the youth of the conference taught me how much they are thinking about their faith and asking important and deep questions. Teaching the third grade Bible class, I’ve learned that even third graders are asking questions about their faith that need to be attended to by adults. And then, last week, the Junior High youth tried to stump the pastor! But their questions were marvelous because of their depth and their honesty. There were overwhelmingly more theological questions than anything else and the children offered some amazing answers to their fellow youth. And finally on Sunday, a youth was paying so close attention to the sermon given that he/she was able to respond to a question posed by the Senior pastor.

Adults often view children and youth as incapable of understanding the importance and depth of the Christian faith. And I must admit up to four months ago, I could easily have been placed in this category. And so, we adults separate and shield our children and youth from certain times during worship or other Church events because we are afraid they won’t understand or they will be too distracting. By doing this are we living into Horton’s belief that “A person is a person no matter how small”?

Yes, children cannot understand everything. And yes, they can be disruptive. But what do we teach our children and youth about their value to the community if we consistently leave them out. Are we saying, only adult persons are valuable members? When churches struggle to find volunteers for Sunday school programs, what are we saying about the value of our children and youth? I encourage church members across the country and the world to begin to re-imagine children and youth ministry programs. How can we incorporate these members of our community into every aspect of the faith? How can we create programs that encourage our children and youth to continue to think more deeply about their faith? How can we treat our “small persons” so that know they are valued and loved within our communities?

Parents, I encourage you to bring up the question of faith at the dinner table, driving in the car, or while you are sitting around on Saturday. Ask your children and youth what they think. And how they understand events that take place in their communities. I think you’ll be surprised.

And finally, I must say that while Dr. Seuss may have written his books for children. There is no doubt in my mind that every adult should read Dr. Seuss. As adults, we often forget those important lessons found with the pages of children’s books.

A Personal Plea

A few months ago, my grandfather, the only one I’ve ever known, fell down his apartment steps and broke his kneecap. The doctors quickly sent him home and told him there was nothing they could do. So here is my grandfather unable to walk, being sent home to his two-story apartment.

Like many who experience similar situations, my grandfather began grieving the loss of his independence. He sold his car and is talking of changing his will. Yesterday, he mentioned his death to my brother. But through this all, my family has been checking in on my grandfather. They go up every couple of hours to help him use the bathroom, give him a bath, bring him food, and comfort him. This isn’t easy because my parents both work fulltime and my siblings are also busy with life and kids. And yet, they make time to take care of him.

You might be wondering why I am telling you all of this. After all, this is supposed to be a blog about families and their kids, right? However, I have heard stories in the last few months that have shocked me. These stories usually involve older people who fall or get sick and then lay in their apartments waiting for someone to check in on them. One person waited two days! Can you imagine lying in your house for two days unable to move before someone comes by and finds you?

Every older adult I have run across in my life has had a large impact on my life. And because of this, I have a special place in my heart for older adults. They are full of wisdom and they often teach me new ways to see the world. And yet, we often believe that we are too busy to make a phone call or stop by to see our older adults.

I am proud that my family has stepped up to the plate to take care of my grandfather. However, so many of us, and my family is guilty of it too, wait until something like a fall or a sickness to begin to check in on our older relatives on a daily basis. So I ask you, please make the time today. If you have relatives or know other older adults please check in on them especially if they live alone. And if they live far from you (as I do from my grandfather), please ask a relative, a friend, a congregational member, or someone you trust to check in on them daily. A knock on the door once a day is preferable but a phone call is better than nothing. Just as we check on our kids every few minutes to make sure they are not doing something harmful, please also check in on the older adults you know to be sure that they too are all right.

Catching the Faith

Recently, I have been reading an intriguing book by Ivy Beckwith called Postmodern Children’s Ministry: Ministry to Children in the 21st Century. The other day as I was reading the chapter on family ministries my mind began to spin in many directions. Beckwith writes about many important aspects of family ministry including, intergenerational activities, providing parenting education for parents, and helping parents teach the Christian faith to their children. In her discussion of these aspects, Beckwith reminds the readers of the old adage that states “faith is more caught than taught.” By this she means, children catch what faith is through every day activities and not necessarily in Sunday School or specific times reserved for teaching the faith.

When I was growing up, my parents never talked about the faith at great length. We went to church, I went to catechism, and my parents were active in the church. I seemed to have caught more of my faith through those moments of life when my mom spoke of God or riding in the car with the family and faith was mentioned than the many years of catechism.

Today, we know our children need to study hard so they can have jobs that will provide for them and their future family. So we find ways to send them to the best schools we can afford. We want our children to be happy and have friends. Thus, we enroll them in soccer and other sports, after school programs, and other activities that interest them. As Christian parents, we also want them to know God so we send them to Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. But perhaps we can’t approach teaching our faith in the same way we approach the alphabet or “stranger danger.” Perhaps teaching our faith to our children is something we must incorporate into our every day lives so that our children can catch it.

Beckwith suggests that this can be as simple as reminding children of God’s creation when watching a sunset or a sunrise. Or by discussing God’s love during or after arguments with siblings or friends. Maybe it is conversing about humanity’s need to be good stewards when we are picking up trash, recycling, or choosing what items we should buy. I bet many of you already speak of God in these very moments. I encourage you to share with each other those moments when have you used every day activities to talk to your children about the Christian faith. Perhaps through sharing we might find even more ways to help our children catch the faith.